Friday 17 February 2017

SUN TIPPED SPEARS


As usual no correlation between images and words. I think this is the house style of this blog.
I was talking to my mother in law the other day and she happened to mention that her daffodils had been tightly closed first thing that morning and over the day they had opened without her seeing them do so. This set me off thinking.

First Daffodils

sun tipped spears
hold a miser's delight
and over a day
in slow motion
they cash in their gold
to shower the room
with the promise of summer
This draft was reduced from this

First Daffodils

sun tipped spears
hold a miser's delight
and over a day's slow motion
-less when you look
they open
cash in their gold
to shower the room
with the promise of summer to come
As you can see I have removed the last 2 words. I believe the poem reads the same whether they are present or not. So out they went. I also removed the play on words around slow motion/less. I liked it but I felt it confused the flow of the poem. Most of the time less is more.
I leave you with Anna Terheim live last month.
Until the next time.

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